I will continue on the story of Amanda’s way of being, which I wrote about in my last letter. As I wrote Amanda does not put any values in the way people are or what they look like when she, for example, are seeking contact with others. In this case, she saw a man who was in a very bad state, but for her, that did not matter. He was a man like any other. What was interesting here was that she got in touch with him. She did not look down at him or disparaging him because he looked like he did or that he was who he was. She smiled at him and got a response, which made her very happy. She gave a human being warmth, who may not have anywhere to go or stay for the night. What had he gone through in his life that ended up like this? What was the reason for him to move downward the spiral to a life in tragedy?

Spending time with children is fascinating, because they just like Amanda, are not judging you, they see you for who you are. Should we not also become more like them, see the human, to look for the good in others. For some people maybe the heart has become hard due to various life events. But somewhere in there, there is perhaps someone who is longing to hear a good word, getting a warm hand to hold …

Before we judge others maybe we should find out what others have gone through that makes them, who they are. People who we may think are hefty, nasty, whiny, egotrippade, low-key, bland … may have gone through a difficult childhood that influenced them to become who they are as an adult. They might carry a huge backpack with unprocessed events from their life, that depletes them daily. You might not want to go through what that person had to endure in his childhood.

I met a woman at a company, where I should keep a course. When I met her in the hallway she went in principle by the wall. I thought then , what had she gone through in her life, because she had such a very bad self confidence. The reason I will never know but she strengthened up her confidence during the course.

What is the reason to why we judge others. Yes, there are many reasons for that. One reason could be that we want to assert ourselves in front of others and then we don’t have to show that we are not as good as we want others to believe. Maybe we even laugh at other people’s way of being or we mock others because they are as they are. If you do so, then stop and think once more before you criticize someone else, you do not know what that person has gone through in his life. Look at yourself and wonder if you are so much better yourself.

With light and greetings!
Jeanette